Why Delaying Important Conversations Can Harm Your Child's Future


Written by Neil and Charnell

Every parent knows that initiating conversations with your college-bound teen are difficult to start.

So, you tend to keep pushing these discussions to a later date, hoping for a "right moment" that never seems to come.


Understandably so.


There's a lot of emotional weight of acknowledging that your child is growing up and will soon be leaving home.


Topics like plans for college, budgeting, and expectation could easily trigger anxiety or disagreements. Since the time is short, you'd rather spend the time not creating conflict with your child.


But, by delaying this all important series of conversations, there's a chance that you'll set your child's future in college up for disaster.


Healthy conversations about this transition period can give both you and your child a chance to air out emotions, fears, uncertainties, to each other while something can be done about them. As well, it gives your child an opportunity to consider what their new life without you being there as you've always been without the pressure of a culture shock.


Research from the National Survey of Student Engagement indicates that first-year students who frequently discuss their future plans with family members are more likely to report a successful transition to college and satisfaction with their educational experience.


So you see, it's crucial for YOU to initiate these conversations. Your child needs to perceive you as an ally during this time.


Instead of waiting for a "right moment", choose the times in your day-to-day routine you share with your child. That could be driving to school, having dinners, or even before bedtime.


Stop putting off it off and start the talk. The goal is not to pressure your child into sharing their four-year plan, insist they study pre-med, criticize their college choices, or start a debate about financial aid. Instead, you should subtly encourage them to see you as a supporter, not a dictator.

Take care,

Neil & Charnell